Man I don’t want this to turn into one of those sites a person goes to and it’s like an old tomb. Sorry I haven’t been keeping this updated!
I’ve had this compulsion to write since — I don’t know when. The mid 90’s for sure. I’ve kept journals and notebooks. I’ve got files of poems, essays, thoughts, stories going back that far. I even tried to write two novels.
I love to read so I suppose it's only natural that I would want to write. Mostly my writing has been for my own benefit—journaling. Not anything for public consumption. I rarely work on poetry. I write it but I rarely move that initial first draft on to something more concise — or edited into something—coherent I guess?
So of course you probably know that I am a bit of a songwriter. I’ve written a lot of songs. A lot of them are pretty cringe — some are decent if I may say so. All of them are mine. They are my own vehicles of self expression or responses to some emotion or something happening. Sometimes they are experimental. Sometimes they are bland. Distilled. Sometimes verbose. Sometimes bluesy, folky, sad, humorous, ironic.
I write a lot. I might write too much. I have years of notebooks laying around full of ideas. Starts. Scraps. Fragments. Suggestions. Yet it seems like I never want to go back and mine these things. I want something to spring forth here and now. New and Fresh.
I’m not really a good writer either. I write how I think. Which is disjointed, haphazard, with a tendency to sidebar, and go off on tangents that dead end or roundabout endlessly until the theme or idea runs out of gas. Well I’m a great writer in that I’m writing all the time. I’m contradictory. I can write. I just don’t take the time to edit well. Unless it's a song. Then I distill until there might be nothing left.
I’m productively unproductive but then somehow I get something done. Unproductive in that I sometimes can sow and plant—but sometimes I let the harvest pass me by.
This might be normal in the way of creativity. But sometimes when I look back over my work it seems like it's a wide sea, but shallow. Who knows though, since I rarely venture out there to test the depths? In those times I have, I have seen the nuggets of possibility. Forgotten ideas that could have gone somewhere if life didn’t pull me in a different way.
One can not look back and wish it was any different than the way it was. Sometimes it's funny to see how it all worked out in the end, even when at the time I didn’t think it would. Heartache. Longing. Oh yeah, missed opportunities—I’ve had a few!
ps
You can tell I don’t use the ai gizmos to write eh?




